i love dominatrixes. always have. i love that they wear latex knee high stockings and leather bras. i love that they’re in control. i love that i can name four pro domes off the top of my head who are getting their masters or PhD and i love that they are some of the most intelligent women i have ever met. i love that they take the art so seriously. i love that they skill themselves to be masters at whip throwing and bondage and piercing and can be cruel as fuck and so compassionate in the same breath, which is a skill within itself. i love that they own their shit. today i visited Sade at the Parthenon during a session. her foot was deep inside of his mouth when i walked in. after she slipped it out her toes were wet and slick and shiny with nails painted lavender. they looked like candy. she had just finished taking the skewers out of his cock and was getting ready to paint with his blood. she had started working on a piece a gift for me, had written out text on canvas and was going to color the letters in red. he was a good looking man with lots of good looking hair and their was a pleasantness wafting in the room and i got out my camera and she told him to fluff himself after she tied cord around his cock and balls and he did and once his cock was hard she got in front of him with a needle and pierced into the side of it and held a plastic cup up to catch the thin stream of liquid. he didn’t make too much noise throughout maybe a slight grunt when the needle touched down and i watched as the cup slowly filled up and none of this was disturbing or gross to me simply fascinating and Sade looked at me with that Sade smile and his eyes were closed and he looked relaxed and content. once the cup runneth half way full she dipped her paintbrush in and started in on the canvas. this went on for three different pieces and at one point she ran out and he had to fluff himself again with lotion and it turned a creamy mauve once it mixed with the blood and then she pierced him again this time he gave more of a yell and we laughed and he laughed and it was all so fucking goddam enjoyable and then she carried on and used the coagulated blood at the bottom of the cup in a sponge paint sort of a way and she’d throw a glob onto canvas and it stuck like a leech and then she’d take it away and the effect was lovely and pleasant conversation flowed throughout from us from him just three people hanging out in a room one bleeding one painting with his blood and one photographing the process. it was such a healthy sexy kink experience and made me remember what it has always been about for me. because sometimes we lose our way or lose ourselves and forget. i feel revived.

we walked around the city all day drinking coffee and reclaiming. he brought pie.

the sea foam green building looked edible and Sade said it reminded her of Jordan almonds and i went straight to pistachio in my mind like the ice cream. there’s been a cockroach lying on it’s back, a big guy, in my hallway right in front of my shoe rack. earlier today before the gardening i tried to sweep it up for the trashcan and as soon as the broom touched it the legs started moving around frantically and these things are just brown and disgusting and i couldn’t rouse the courage to sweep it into the dustpan and watch it wiggle around during transportation. and i would, without a doubt, look because that’s what people do when carrying half dead bugs twenty seven inches from their face. they look. sometimes after that we were at the garden store surrounded by nature and came across these pale yellow flowers that looked like a seventies prom dress think Carrie and i bought them along with a Passion Flower plant and some other pretties. we got our hands deep into the soil once in the backyard and it felt like scwooshing warm chocolate cake with your fingers and i love the smell of soil and the texture if i came across a bug in the dirt i wouldn’t blink an eye its just different for some reason to find a living creature amongst nature as opposed to finding one that lives off city garbage in front of your rainboots. she found an earthworm on the ground and brought over to the tomato plants to live. it reminds me a bit of the forest and i find it comforting because i love being in the woods they’re like my kinda place so urban and busy and bustling and birds commuting and the tall trees are skyscrapers and the little ones are townhomes and the patches of sun through the branches and so quiet yet so loud in its own nature city way thriving on and within itself. next week we decide that i will bring all of my shoes over to her place and we’ll have a shoe fetish photo shoot trying on all the pairs of heels spiky and sparkly and sharp and skyscraper and strappy and taking pictures of one another. we wrap up the evening with a story about her last session and she talked about the submissive’s smooth soft ass and how he must lotion himself after every shower it is very well kept and how by the end of it his ass felt like leather.