i love dominatrixes. always have. i love that they wear latex knee high stockings and leather bras. i love that they’re in control. i love that i can name four pro domes off the top of my head who are getting their masters or PhD and i love that they are some of the most intelligent women i have ever met. i love that they take the art so seriously. i love that they skill themselves to be masters at whip throwing and bondage and piercing and can be cruel as fuck and so compassionate in the same breath, which is a skill within itself. i love that they own their shit. today i visited Sade at the Parthenon during a session. her foot was deep inside of his mouth when i walked in. after she slipped it out her toes were wet and slick and shiny with nails painted lavender. they looked like candy. she had just finished taking the skewers out of his cock and was getting ready to paint with his blood. she had started working on a piece a gift for me, had written out text on canvas and was going to color the letters in red. he was a good looking man with lots of good looking hair and their was a pleasantness wafting in the room and i got out my camera and she told him to fluff himself after she tied cord around his cock and balls and he did and once his cock was hard she got in front of him with a needle and pierced into the side of it and held a plastic cup up to catch the thin stream of liquid. he didn’t make too much noise throughout maybe a slight grunt when the needle touched down and i watched as the cup slowly filled up and none of this was disturbing or gross to me simply fascinating and Sade looked at me with that Sade smile and his eyes were closed and he looked relaxed and content. once the cup runneth half way full she dipped her paintbrush in and started in on the canvas. this went on for three different pieces and at one point she ran out and he had to fluff himself again with lotion and it turned a creamy mauve once it mixed with the blood and then she pierced him again this time he gave more of a yell and we laughed and he laughed and it was all so fucking goddam enjoyable and then she carried on and used the coagulated blood at the bottom of the cup in a sponge paint sort of a way and she’d throw a glob onto canvas and it stuck like a leech and then she’d take it away and the effect was lovely and pleasant conversation flowed throughout from us from him just three people hanging out in a room one bleeding one painting with his blood and one photographing the process. it was such a healthy sexy kink experience and made me remember what it has always been about for me. because sometimes we lose our way or lose ourselves and forget. i feel revived.

the sea foam green building looked edible and Sade said it reminded her of Jordan almonds and i went straight to pistachio in my mind like the ice cream. there’s been a cockroach lying on it’s back, a big guy, in my hallway right in front of my shoe rack. earlier today before the gardening i tried to sweep it up for the trashcan and as soon as the broom touched it the legs started moving around frantically and these things are just brown and disgusting and i couldn’t rouse the courage to sweep it into the dustpan and watch it wiggle around during transportation. and i would, without a doubt, look because that’s what people do when carrying half dead bugs twenty seven inches from their face. they look. sometimes after that we were at the garden store surrounded by nature and came across these pale yellow flowers that looked like a seventies prom dress think Carrie and i bought them along with a Passion Flower plant and some other pretties. we got our hands deep into the soil once in the backyard and it felt like scwooshing warm chocolate cake with your fingers and i love the smell of soil and the texture if i came across a bug in the dirt i wouldn’t blink an eye its just different for some reason to find a living creature amongst nature as opposed to finding one that lives off city garbage in front of your rainboots. she found an earthworm on the ground and brought over to the tomato plants to live. it reminds me a bit of the forest and i find it comforting because i love being in the woods they’re like my kinda place so urban and busy and bustling and birds commuting and the tall trees are skyscrapers and the little ones are townhomes and the patches of sun through the branches and so quiet yet so loud in its own nature city way thriving on and within itself. next week we decide that i will bring all of my shoes over to her place and we’ll have a shoe fetish photo shoot trying on all the pairs of heels spiky and sparkly and sharp and skyscraper and strappy and taking pictures of one another. we wrap up the evening with a story about her last session and she talked about the submissive’s smooth soft ass and how he must lotion himself after every shower it is very well kept and how by the end of it his ass felt like leather.

it takes a while to get going, but eventually his hand ends up behind her head holding her hair from the crown to the lowest slope it is wrapped around his fingers which are closed tight. he holds it back enough for her head to tilt slightly which causes her lower lip to puff and drop open the slightest degrees but enough to see the reflection of the lamp on her lower front tooth and it glistens in the warmth. this makes her breaths shallow and closer together because it excites her and she drops her tongue just enough to top the tip of the lip and he pulls her hair back confidently adding just a quick tiny tug which sends small sharp pain vibrations up her skull and as he pulls her head down more he comes in closer so their lips are so close almost touching and this makes her want to lick them but she wants him to make all the moves so he gets the message that he is in control. he pulls her head down further and this makes her cry out quietly and she gets more excited keeping her hands limp by her hips letting him know that she is fully in his hands and with his right one he runs his finger over the wet tooth and wet tongue and ends on the wet lips and leans in more and whispers one word into her mouth. Mine.

i’m super stoked to be a part of the group show Lewd (“an exhibition of photography including nude men, women and everything in between”), curated by John Wenrich and Greg Garry, at Krause Gallery. if you are in the New York area on Thursday, please swing by the gallery for the opening…

Krause Gallery
149 Orchard St. between Rivington and Stanton streets, New York, NY
Thursday, May 10th from 7-10pm

hope to see you there, i am anticipating a fun night ahead…here are one of the images that will be on display. i never thought the day would come that i’d get a cock up on a gallery wall. pigs are flying people!…

i just learned from my printer Jeffrey that Giclee means literally “to squirt”. it seemed an appropriate thing to share given the image.

definitely get potted tomorrow and Mariah Carey on Shape magazine who has always struck me as a voice masturbator and i never really cared for her ever since that “treated me kind” song which i heard for the first time after swimming detention which means we had to go school this was highschool at around 6 in the morning and swim laps for an hour super sadistic to do to a bunch of teenage girls who’s favorite trend was spraying an entire can of aqua net with a pick in the other hand ready for action to create the perfect stiff high bangs and this meant we had to blow dry our bangs and lug the hairspray around with us to create the effect so there’s that and i had also made out with a senior who’s junior girlfriend found out and officially hates me and she happens to be at detention too with her cohort Michelle who is very tall which makes her look very tough and after the laps i was taking a shower in the communal area which has since participated in more than one fantasy for me and they were in there glaring and i just made pretend that i was alone and not terrified and over the speakers which could be heard in the locker room Mariah Carey was singing this song so maybe that has something to do with it. anyway, it’s funny to look at her now. i think Michelle became a doctor and turned out to be a pretty cool chick.

on our way back from brunch on the train back to their place we watched a little girl holding on to a flower which we thought was plastic until the petals started dropping to the floor red ones and there were Swatch advertisements everywhere and my mind was already in the near future with all of it’s endless possibilities and then in the future three lit cigarettes naked by the blue light satisfied and relaxed we reflected on the not so distant past and our favorite parts.

you know i have always enjoyed folding my hands over my lap, its a silent movement which makes it graceful and calm and reminds me of a female ninja. i hung out with my friend Jan today and he told me in his words that women are more spankable in flats than in heels. he loves flats. he also loves frumpy knickers, especially white ones, and bobby socks and tennis shoes, the ones you have to tie up. last Sunday i went to my mother’s church with her for service and there was a girl around eleven in a big wheelchair with it’s back to me and the chair was so big i couldn’t see any of her body even when i shifted around just the big black back of a chair and two thin feet on the metal footrest and they were in sparkly ballet flats and the sequins were many colors like blue and lime green and orange and dark pink and the first word that came to my mind was Optimism and then we stood up and Pledged Allegiance to Our Flag.

i first saw these stockings in a book i recently purchased titled Design Behind Desire and after some searching — well, actually i didn’t lift a finger and had my submissive do all the dirty work — found out they were made by Lake and Stars so i went to their site and holy fuck me i love their lingerie and the way they have their design photographed, really outside the box style like mixing muddy tungsten lighting with grey panties, and the models are really unique and i just think they are genius and then i read their blog and it’s super cool so check it out — Lake and Stars Blog
i am now blogging for self proclaimed and couldn’t have said it better myself “Art, Porn, Culture” website The Darling House which is filled to the brim with smart sexy writings and photography, founded by Joshua Darling co-founded by super siren Sovereign Eye. the site is still in beta testing, full launch soon.
through them i was introduced to Dr. Anna B Volk, and i spent a good portion of yesterday reading her blog The Bee Writer where she intellectualizes porn and everything that falls under it. amazing writing that is approachable, she has a lot to say and says it well. and speaking of porn, if this gem were a shoe it would need to be resoled often that’s how much footing it gets on my laptop screen- really good lesbian porn. god bless Georgia Jones and Samantha Ryan. slammin.
and when i wasn’t watching porn or reading about it, i had my friend Axe’s podcast Masocast playing. funny thoughtful interviews with Mistress Veronica, Miss Mona Rogers, and Mistress Alex, amongst others, about their lives in the kink world zombies and everything in between. my girl Sade Ami is there often, chiming in with her thoughts. entertainment city.
okay, back to lusting over hot panties on hot chicks and wishing they were both on my lap.